identical twins

We're still waiting on our copy of the next National Geographic -- but the cover story is about identical twins -- since finding that we were expecting twins who were most likely identical (thanks to a DNA test when they were 18 months old, we know that they are indeed) -- 


I just read this interesting intro piece on NPR ... 


I try to downplay our girls twin-ship because I want them to have their own lives and to be celebrated ... and punished when applicable ... only for what they did -- not to feel that they are part of a unit, but each alone a person who has her own ideas and opinions, faults and abilities ... We purposely did not name them with names that rhyme or otherwise *go together* we don't generally dress them the same (except when torturing all siblings for a holiday) and we don't expect the same level of work or behavior --


Frankly -- R has a shorter temper with others, but is generally helpful and more studious -- while M is long in patience but generally lazy when asked to be of help and complains like nobody's business about having to go back and re-do work that she sloppily plowed through instead of learning. 


In our city I know they have a twin study program at VCU -- but I've never been more than vaguely curious -- I don't want our twins to be defined by the matter of their birth or DNA -- I want them to be who they are, yet -- I eagerly await seeing what they will think about this next issue of one of their favorite magazines -- if they will decide that being twins is something more than a passing fascination by which they can stand out to new friends ... 


Of course, to hear them tell it -- they are going to live together, M will be a zoo keeper while R will be a veterinarian -- R worries that she'll make all the money and be stuck supporting M all her life. HA!


They are so funny -- and I tell them they are welcome to make all these plans -- but to realize that when they are grown, they will probably not want to live anywhere near each other -- and that's ok too. 


But then I wonder. Is it that different for twins? And how will it be for them? I can try to encourage them to be their own people -- but it is they who will decide how that plays out when they are adults. Not me.